Emma tagged us in this back in October. We are finally getting to it. Great, right? We’re really on top of shit this time. But, you guys, totally check out her blog. She’s fantastic and funny and great. Her posts are always a joy to read.
We’re super excited for this tag because we love throwing shade, both at other things and at each other for life choices.
Caidyn will be in blue.
Chantel will be in purple.
1. Nope. Ending: a book ending that made you go nope either in denial, rage, or simply because the ending was crappy.
Oh, man. Strange the Dreamer got me so pissed off with that ending. I could tell it was coming a mile away — with both main twists it presented — and I was so upset that Laini Taylor did the same shit she did in her other series that I can’t imagine myself reading the rest of that series.
I’m Thinking of Ending Things by Iain Reid pissed me off so much. I don’t rage at books often, but this ending was fucking stupid and I predicted it about halfway through the book. It was not only angering, but I wanted something far more original than what I ended up with. I guess that’s what I get for reading a book just because of the cover.
That book was good and masterfully crafted. You just found it dull since you guessed it too early.
I do not deny that the book was interesting and I read it quickly, but the ending was absolute shit and predictable.
It wasn’t, though! It was really well-done.
2. Nope. Protagonist: a main character you dislike and drives you crazy.
LILAH FUCKING BARD. DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON HER. Damn, you hate her so much you spelled her name wrong. She deserves her name spelled wrong. She pisses me the fuck off in all the ways. She makes no sense to me. She’s not feminist. She’s not fantastic. She’s a dumb shit. Also, why is that book considered adult fantasy? Shit reads like YA. Also, not the biggest fan of Ron Weasley (sorry) or anyone in that damn heretical book called Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.
Can I just dedicate this one to all of the Katniss/Tris/Bella Swan ripoffs because those characters are shit to start with. They should not be copied in any form. Instead, they should be a lesson in how to not write flat, boring, annoying characters.
Why would anyone want to copy them anyways, right? Katniss was cool until she decided to want to worry about guys. Bella always sucked ass. And who the fuck is Tris?
Many YA authors have copied them. The Hunger Games just angers me. I don’t understand why a love triangle was even a part of the plot. Why was romance part of the plot?! Tris was the main character in Divergent a wannabe Hunger Games.
Man, fucked if I know. Revolution > love triangle every day. Well, I failed reading those books so makes sense why I never got into them.
In real life, I’m absolutely certain that’s how it would go. You wouldn’t care about which boy you were going to choose. Yeah, well it sucked. I didn’t even finish the series because I stopped caring.
That was me with Hunger Games. I couldn’t give two shits after Catching Fire. Probably because I found the sequel so boring. It suddenly turned political after that very interesting beginning.
3. Nope. Series: a series that turned out to be a huge pile of nope after you’ve invested all of that time and energy on it (or a series you gave up on because it wasn’t worth it anymore.
C’mon. I’m trying to remember any books that I’ve had happen with that. Probably because I blocked them out. However, that Asylum series by Madeleine Roux really was shitty in the end. Same with Miss Peregrine’s.
Okay, so I believe last year I started reading The Magicians by Lev Grossman (maybe it was this year, I don’t remember) and I didn’t even make it through the first book because there was a really weird sex scene that I couldn’t get past so I promptly gave up on ever reading this series.
Haha! I actually read that book, rated it four stars, and wrote a nice review for it. And I don’t remember why I did it.
Isn’t it fun when we can’t remember why we liked a book? Always a good sign.
It’s even worse since I wrote that nice review of it AND I can only remember things I didn’t like. So, fucked if I know.
I can’t believe you even finished it.
I literally don’t remember the ending.
4. Nope. Pairing: a “ship” you don’t support.
So. Many. Ron/Hermione, Luna/Scammander, Snape/Lily, Kell/Lila (because I didn’t finish the series but I knew it was coming), and others. I’m sure that Chantel will have a few that we can mutually bitch about. (And Ash totally did a blog post about this so I have to link her in for the hell of it.)
I don’t give a shit about ships. If a book has a great romance, that’s awesome. I’m really struggling to think of a ship I don’t like. I will say that Kell/Lila was set in stone from page one. Hard pass there. Other than that, let’s just agree that toxic relationships aren’t romantic at all.
First of all, that is a fucking lie. You do care about shipping and if you didn’t we wouldn’t be friends.
What other toxic relationships are there? Besides the obvious ones, like Bella and Edward. Or Bella and Jacob. Or Jacob and Renesmee.
Okay, let me issue a correction, I don’t care about shitty ships. All of the ships I care about are fantastic and aren’t from books. So there.
I call bullshit again. Victor/Sherlock is 100% from a book. You just fail since you haven’t read the series even though you own a very nice copy AND PROMINENTLY DISPLAY IT ON YOUR SHELVES.
Okay, but I have never read any of the Arthur Conan Doyle novels or stories, so the basis on which I ship Victor and Sherlock has nothing to do with the books. I also have many things displayed on my bookshelf I have not read.
You’ve just failed, yo. Read them. They’re actually really good.
5. Nope. Plot twist: a twist you didn’t see coming and didn’t like.
I’m usually good at picking out possible plot twists, honestly. It’s rare that I get one that I didn’t guess in some fashion. Chantel help me because I can’t think of any. Probably because I blocked it out or have read things since then.
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is an abomination, and part of that is because of the twist that what’s her face is Voldemort’s daughter. Fucking gross, man. Also, the time travel bullshit was just that. Bullshit. I can’t believe I paid money for this piece of shit.
I bought a hardcover and Kindle copy of Cursed Child and returned the Kindle one. I’m still on the edge on keeping the hardcopy. Keep it for a complete collection or burn the thing?
BURN BABY BURN!
6. Nope. Genre: a genre you will never read.
Poetry is usually a no-go for me. Same with romance or erotica. But, I have read stuff like that in the back. I don’t think that it’s a genre, but I’m going to call torture porn a genre. What I mean by that, are books that are full of pointless suffering and sadness and no one’s happy and then everyone dies. I hate that shit.
Never is such a strong word. I am trying to expand my horizons and so I don’t want to close off any genre. However, I likely won’t read many horror or non-fiction. I’m not saying I will never read books from either genre, but I’m less likely to.
Imma get you to read horror, ho.
Gimme some queer characters and I’m in.
You know I’m going to do this now. You’ve found your own doom.
I’m serious. It worked with mystery.
Anyone know any queer horror books? I’m deadset to get this done.
7. Nope. Book format: book formatting you hate and avoid buying until it comes out in a different addition.
Anything with print the size of my tiny ass fingernail. I have decent eyes, but damn. I can’t read that shit.
Mass market paperbacks are the fucking devil.
You remember how you bought me the series Locke Lamora for my birthday? All of them are mass market paperbacks.
…I’m so sorry.
8. Nope. Trope: a trope that makes you go nope.
I’m really coming to hate men as saviors for women. I can go with the usual thing like love triangles, but that and woman on woman hate over a dude pisses me the fuck off.
If you use a character’s sexuality or gender as a plot twist, kindly fuck off. Other than that, don’t pair every character off with someone else. It’s completely unrealistic and stupid. IT’S OKAY IF A CHARACTER IS SINGLE.
PREACH CHANTEL PREACH. I tend to like books that aren’t in relationships or the relationship isn’t the center of the story.
I love how Gentleman’s Guide ended with Felicity single, however, she wasn’t the main character. I am just sick of the idea that characters have to be with someone. Books, where there are romances that aren’t the main focus, are just delightful.
I also hope that she’s ace because that’d be great k thx bai.
9. Nope. Recommendation: a book recommendation that is constantly pushed at you that you simply refuse to read.
Cassandra Clare, Leigh Bardugo, Sarah J. Maas. They aren’t constantly pushed at me, but I literally can’t with them. Dropping this in as well, but if you want us to read things and have recommendations, even if they’re nopes for us, please see our survey where you can push things at us.
Right now, as much as I want to read Adam Silvera I’m pretty fucking fragile right now so I can’t. Basically, I was 100% burned by the Shades of Magic trilogy, so I’m very distrustful of books that are hyped.
Silvera = torture porn.
Considering I practically curled up into a ball at the end of The Song of Achilles, I don’t think I can handle Silvera.
Or A Little Life.
10. Nope. Cliche: a cliche or writing pet peeve that always makes you roll your eyes.
That thing where people just stare into mirrors and examine themselves. I’m guilty of doing that in my writing, but, like, it’s so hilarious. Who does this? Who examines everything about their body when they look in a mirror? Who does this?
YA is so full of cliches that I think I’m desensitized to them by now. Besides, what’s the difference between cliche and trope?
Cliche: a phrase or opinion that is overused and betrays a lack of original thought
Trope: a significant or recurrent theme; a motif
Thanks for that. Unfortunately, nothing came to mind, but I’m sure I’d think of something eventually. I feel like this is really specific and nothing really bothers me that much.
11. Nope. Love interest: the love interest that’s not worthy of being one.
SEVERUS FUCKING SNAPE. Like, Kali, I hate that man and fuck off with him being in love with Lily.
Bella Swan, eat a dick.
I disagree with you. Edward is an abuser and needs to be there. Bella deserved better and was just stupid.
I suppose you are right. Edward Cullen, eat a dick.
I think that’s fantastic.
See, that’s not a negative. If Edward was gay, Twilight would’ve been a lot more interesting.
NO, IT’S NOT!
12. Nope. Book: a book that shouldn’t have existed.
That fucking book Vanilla by Billy Merrell. I saw this advertised with the LGBTQ+ books at my local bookstore and almost raged. What a fucking waste of space.
Adam by Ariel Schrag is the book that has pissed me off the most. Let me give you the general premise: a boy goes and stays with his older sister in NYC for the summer and when he meets a lesbian, Gillian, he wants to date he pretends to be a transman. WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA? Not only does it work, but he says he’s 20 something years old when he’s 17. After Adam tells Gillian all of this, SHE HAS SEX WITH HIM. This book angers me so much. From Adam to Gillian’s sudden realization she’s into guys with a snap of the fingers, to the fact that Adam suffers no consequences for his actions other than not getting the girl at the end. This book makes me fucking nauseous and what’s even worse is they are making it into a movie.
Hollywood, why are you the way you are and why do you do the stupid shit you do?
Yes, because a lesbian wants a transman because he’s a dude. Total sense. Oh, and the movie’s being billed as a comedy. I’ve also heard this rant, like, 10 times. She texted me for three hours about the movie a few weeks ago.
From what I remember, she was very much into the idea of dating a transman. So, fetishizing it. Even better. This book is a fucking garbage fire.
Yes, because a vagina makes it fine. Maybe you’re not a lesbian then.
It really seems that way because she ends the book dating a guy. I have no issue with a character’s sexuality changing, but I take issue when the character isn’t the main character and we don’t see their journey.
It’s also not funny to pretend to be a transman. Seriously.
It’s not funny or okay, ever.
13. Nope. Villain: a villain you would hate to cross.
Uhm. Hm. Jorg Arancrath. Voldie. Mrs. Weasley. (Okay the last isn’t a villain but holy hell I wouldn’t want to piss her off.)
Dolores Umbridge. She is more terrifying than Voldemort any day.
Oooh. Good one.
Okay, but the real question is, who’s better. AVPM or the book/movie?
Okay, that first gif is hilarious but she was super menacing in the book/movie.
She was and AVPM took her into something very special.
14. Nope. Death: a character death that still haunts you.
SPOILERS FOR THE BOOK THIEF, HARRY POTTER, MOCKINGJAY, AND LOOKING FOR ALASKA.
My baby Rudy will always haunt me. Same with Dumbledore and Remus. Or the Potters. There are lots of dead characters that hurt me.
Oh gosh, my precious Rudy still kills me to this day. I knew it was coming the whole time and it just wrecked me. Rudy was a sweet baby child who needed many hugs and love and got called an ass daily by the girl he loved and it was so romantic. Ugh, I know and she totally loved him but realized it too late. Breaks my fucking heart. Also, the fact that Prim dies in Mockingjay probably ruined the whole series for me. Mockingjay was such a piece of shit. BAHAHAHAHA. I remember hearing that and laughing my ass off. I think I cried that I laughed so hard because the series was pointless. To save Prim, she went to the games and then Prim died because she went to the games. EXACTLY! It was a very stupid decision and the fact that Gale was thrown under the bus for it pisses me off more. Fuck I hate that book. I didn’t like this book either, but Alaska in Looking for Alaska caused me to throw the book in anger.
Anything by John Green kills me.
15. Nope. Author: an author you had a bad experience reading and have decided to quit.
Schwab, both YA, and adult for her. I know that some of her stuff is super good or has a ton of hype, but I read two of her books and they were so subpar that I can’t do it.
I don’t like this question either, but I don’t think I will ever read Ellen Hopkins again. I just don’t like the “torture porn” genre as Caidyn calls it and nothing good ever comes from reading her books.
Ellen Hopkins was great up until she started into adult novels. I still like some of hers, honestly. However, she doesn’t write for a reason anymore. She started writing to get her emotions off her chest about her meth addict of a daughter, then she realized she could raise awareness of other things. Now she’s run out of stuff and it’s just like she packs as much pain and potentially triggering content into the books she writes without having a reason why. It sucks even more since I’ve met her and have two autographed books from her.